joke

Soldier
American soldier got command order war to Iraq, during whole his task he has accident step on the land mine until his foot shattered, lucky he not die because only one side of his foot shattered, finally doctor said must amputation, after amputation finish doctor advise using imitation foot in order that he can walk normal.
No body know that he using imitation foot until start to engaged, finally after wedding party finish they continue honeymoon to Bali.

In the room hotel the girl start striped her clothes and she orders her husband to took off too and……
Girl: honey …. Please open your clothes, you see I start took of my clothes I want my happiness as wife presented to you.
Soldier: Okay honey … you start not be patient

Finally the soldier step by step took of his clothes until the girl know that his husband using imitation foot, with disappointed and angry suddenly she call her mother in America.

Girl: mom … I am angry and disappoint with my marriage!!!
Mom: why paunchy!!! (The mother always call her daughter as paunchy because too fat)
Girl: I want ask for divorce from my husband, don’t worry mom until now I still virgin because my husband yet to fucking me.
Mom: hey … hey what happen!!
Girl: my husband one feet only.
Mom: oh my god why one feet you said only…. You are really paunchy girl you are lucky wife that your husband have one feet … as you know that your father one inch only.
Girl: no mom… I mean
Mom: you are too fussy, if you don’t like your husband given to me because until now I never feels big penis.
Girl: no.. no..mom I mean …..
The girl hears that mom threw the phone.

Picture
After making love whole night the man sees the picture of man in wallet girl, with angered the man ask “your husband?
“No stupid” the girl answer with stick out her tongue
“Your boyfriend” continue the man with feel angered
“No…. no” answer the girl with play her tongue to his penis
“I know that is your brother or your family?”
“No …. No… and nooooo”
“If no… Who’s that??” the man plead for
“That is my picture before surgery”

Digging earthenware
This story of astronaut have mission to mars, after landing he meet with pretty women of mars has digging earthenware
Astronaut: what are you doing?
Women: made baby
Astronaut: Oh… if in the earth made a baby not like that
Women: So… how your style?
Astronaut: hmm….difficult to explain but very easy to do
The mars women agree for apprentice, after astronaut finish practice the way made baby earth version, the mars women has question.
Women: so… where’s the baby?
Astronaut: the baby will appear after 9 month
Women: so… why you stop your digging?

Confession of sin
Pastor receive confession sin of Mario” what your sin my son?” Mario answer: “last night I do prohibited with my girlfriend on chair front of my car” pastor surprise: Hah!!! Oh my god you know your mistake my son???” Mario answer:” yes I know, that I ought to doing its on seat in car not out side the car”

Taxi
Presently plenty criminal on taxi, below the tips and hope it’s useful especially for all women in order case save if in taxi.

At moment stopped taxi, please check of the wheel make sure that total is 4, if only 3 meaning that you wrong stopped, not taxi but pedicap.
Please explain your headed, (don’t talk easy way, because the way not sure to easy)

Don’t be shy to ask question because shy to ask is lost way, but don’t too much question its will shameless.

If you go self please seating on back of driver, don’t seat lap on driver because in other case you disturb his view “other part” of driver also disturb.

If driver attitude friendly answer properly, don’t answer profuse its will appraise by driver.

Very importance!! After you check above correct you check the total of the chair, if plenty that is bus not taxi

Money
To all my best friend….
Friend with money you can…
Buy bed, but cannot buy deep sleep
Buy a watch, but cannot buy time
Buy a book, but cannot buy knowledge
Buy good position in the job, but cannot buy honor
Buy madicine, but cannot buy healt
Buy blood, but cannot buy life
So... money is not everything....
Even money some time made you feeling sick and safering
We are give this information to all my friend, because we are your friend, and as friend we want evacuate all your sick and your safering was your dominate
So hurry send all your money to me because we are willing safering of your dominate

Regards
Your good friend.

Heaven room
There is 3 women already die and this moment they is in the gate of heaven and was interview by angel guard heaven gate and his assistance, below the interview happen……
Angel: how about your life women 1?
Women1: Oh….. We are better woman and godly, until we die we are still save my virgin
Angel: Ok …. Assistance …… Give him the key gold heaven
Assistance: yes… sir
Angel: How about you women 2
Women2: if I am profuse…… we took my religion, marriage, and one time dishonest, but at the moment I die we already repent.
Angel: assistance…. Give him the key silver heaven
Assistance: yes… sir
Angel: how about you women 3
Women3: (with smile coquettishness) I am sexual intercourse….my life is free sex, promiscuity ….. Because every body say that I good bodies … so I enjoy with my life until die.
Angel: assistance…… Give key my room

FBI
One night FBI of forensic walk away in dark, he back home from bar and too drank, in the way he almost step on bullshit was Still warm.
But he still hesitate correct or not that the thing is bullshit, because of angered FBI take decide to check the bullshit closely, then he said “shape resemble bullshit”

Then he touches the bullshit, and said “soft resemble bullshit”
Then he dab a bit of thus bullshit then he smelled, and said”aroma resemble bullshit”

But this FBI still hesitates, and then he decides to lick a bit of thus bullshit.

After finish lick then he screams…. “Really bullshit! Lucky I not step on”

Local tourist
Cokro is local tourist of Indonesian, he has been got winning the game of hundred million Indonesian money, he decide go to Bali for refreshing, the reason that he want energetic and stylish, he eat in western restaurant was fully by foreigner
Waiter: “please” (with handed the list of menu)
Cokro: “Ouch… all list menu using English language, no problem pointed toward only” his murmured while pointed one of menu.
Waiter:”Okay!”
Not long time waiter comes with a plate of chili.
Cokro: “Ouch ….. Chili??” (His murmured)

For reason of prestige, he finishing one plate of thus chili, after finish with hot lip he watch foreigner beside him occupied eat of beefsteak
Cokro: “Actually I want thus beef, but what the name? Want request but don’t know English, better waiting only”
Not long time the foriegner scream to waiter: “please ..again!!”
Then waiter comes with a plate of beefsteak again.
Cokro: “Oh… that is the name….”
Then cokro also scream to waiter “plis egen….!!!!

Which marriage better
Doesn’t marriage with operator telephone, because 5 minute finish
Doesn’t marriage with dentist, because after shaky then direct pull out
Better marriage with teacher, because if not satisfied will repeat
More better marriage with operator photocopy, because they will request “how many time” or “back and forth is it?”